What To Do About My New Boyfriend’s Pestering?
If you fancy sending your romantic relationship dilemma to former Kingston resident Love Doctor Monti, author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, submit your question via our form.
Alternatively send a direct email to [email protected] or via WhatsApp to +385 97 655 8066.
Question:
I’ve recently entered a relationship and want to take things slowly, because I was badly hurt by my last break-up.
We’ve not been to the bedroom yet, but he keeps telling me that he wants to take me down “trap 2” rather than “trap 1”. He has tried to get me drunk twice to get intimate, but fortunately we were with a group of friends who looked out for me.
His fondness of “trap 2” worries me, especially as it’s not something I would ever entertain. I’m really thinking that I should knock this relationship on the head unless he can show me respect. How should I tackle things moving forward because I’m confused?
W, Kingston
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Any man who tries to get his partner inebriated in order to initiate bedroom antics is not worthy of a meaningful romantic relationship, and my advice is to give him the heave-ho.
Some men mistreat the fairer sex as they are selfishly only interested in the physical side of a relationship, rather than caring about their feelings and building up a genuine romance.
These are early days in your current relationship, and already you are getting red flags to walk away. As he is besieging you with sexual demands so early on, before you have enjoyed bedroom fun, I believe that you should run out of his life.
His obsession with talking about sexual adventures means that he is obviously sexually needy, and could well be one of those men who resorts to watching adult activity to deal with his frustration.
SCORNFUL SELFISH ACT
You really don’t want to be with someone who only views you as a sexual object and not a human being with emotions. The fact that he keeps hounding you about “trap 2” for his own satisfaction points towards having watched too many adult videos.
He is showing very little respect, because bedroom fun should be what you both desire. It appears that you are just a lustful object to him, rather than someone for a loving relationship.
My advice is to take his self-esteem down a peg or two, because he is clearly only thinking about himself and not considering you as a couple.
If you want to break things off easily then ensure you are among your friends when you try this tip, so that he doesn’t turn nasty or start being rude.
SOLUTION IS A DISPARAGING REMARK
I suggest you tell him in front of friends that his sexual suggestions make you uncomfortable and that you don’t want to perform in bed in a way that feels unnatural.
He should feel deeply embarrassed by your comment, and may even storm off. This can be the start of a disagreement that has the potential to end your relationship without you feeling guilty.
As you have been taking this slowly, and your heart is obviously not in this latest relationship, it should not be much of a blow for you.
It sounds as though you are not emotionally available, having not completely healed from your previous romance. I believe that this current scenario is simply a rebound relationship. Maybe you didn’t wish to feel alone, or it was to try and distract yourself following your heartache.
SEEK A SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Regardless of the reasoning behind entering your latest relationship, it is not working out as you would like and it seems best to call it a day. You need someone who can respect you and build foundations for a meaningful romance.
You deserve to find someone worthy of your affection and love, caring about you affectionately before romancing you. When affectionate love and romantic love are both running smoothly, it is only natural for the beautiful act of lovemaking to help bond you together as a couple.
No need to invest more time into your current love interest, as you are not on the same wavelength. Only the stress of finding someone who measures up to your previous partner can hinder you from finding true love again, but there are ways to make your brain chemistry sizzle again.
MEND YOUR BROKEN HEART
Time is the only healer when it comes to dealing with a failed romantic relationship, and you need to deal with that before contemplating dating again. Otherwise you could end up with someone who will take advantage of your emotional vulnerability and have only lustful feelings towards you like this latest man.
When you are ready for romance, you can always follow my tip to land a date through a text message with a love interest. This is simplistic and effective, just ensure that you deal with any inappropriate responses to avoid being photo bombed.
I urge you to concentrate on spending quality time with friends, and consider booking a vacation so that you have something to look forward to as well as time to think without the distractions of everyday life.
Remember to share this article on Facebook and other Social Media Platforms. To submit your own articles or to advertise with us please send us an EMAIL at: [email protected]