How Do I Start To Meet Single Women?
If you fancy sending your romantic relationship dilemma to former Kingston resident Love Doctor Monti, author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, kindly submit your question via our form or send a direct email to [email protected].
Question:
I’m struggling to meet women and I lack confidence.
I’m fairly good-looking, with a good body but possess zero social skills with the opposite sex.
What solutions are there to get me out of this rut?
Dan, Hassocks
Love Doctor’s Answer:
You need to sharpen your flirting skills to spark a conversation, but before then you need to boost your self-esteem. Women find a man with confidence, not arrogance, enthralling and attractive.
I suggest that you start to look at the way you present yourself. Learning to love yourself is imperative.
Everyone has a certain fashion style, although singletons frequently are a bit of a mish-mash so tend to not appeal as potential dating material.
It’s best to use search engines to look at how someone famous that you admire dresses and presents themselves to the world.
When you view images online of this person you will see their various fashion senses, accessories (bag, hat, jewellery, watch etc), footwear and hairstyles.
Celebrities regularly undergo professional make-overs, not to reinvent themselves but to keep their look fresh and tweak their feel-good factor.
Although I offer bespoke one-day Monti Magical Makeovers that include tips to make singletons more attractive to others, which can be booked up via email, your cheaper alternative is to learn by looking at photos of famous people.
LOOK AND LEARN
Try and recreate some certain looks that you believe would suit you, and that doesn’t mean splashing the cash. You can upgrade your wardrobe by investing in some top quality clothing that you saw on celebrities.
Once you know the way you would like to look clothes wise, check your wardrobe and ask yourself whether you could imagine any of these famous people you admire sporting any of your current clothing. If the answer is no, consider giving what you no longer like away to a charity shop.
Learning to love yourself starts with priding yourself on your appearance. So after a clothing overhaul, next is to get a decent haircut to lift your spirits.
If you have enough money to be able to treat yourself to something that you would really like, then save up and buy it.
BUY SOMETHING SPECIAL
As you’re not currently dating then you should have some spare money knocking around, and making a one-off purchase for something you desire such as a watch or wallet will give you a life for your inner confidence.
The other important product to invest in is aftershave. Go for two signature scents, a fresh one for daytime and a more intense version for when you go out in the evenings. Try picking a citrus scent, as the smell of grapefruit and lemons are going to arouse ladies.
You really don’t want to go over the top with wearing aftershaves, because you will mask your natural aroma that helps to naturally attract others.
That’s exactly why some people become unlikely couples, it is down to their smell. For partners to last the course they need mutual interests, and both need to compromise in a romantic relationship.
INVEST IN YOURSELF
This upgraded version of you — through investing time, money and effort — will help add a spring to your step and should start women noticing you.
You can easily put into practice this new you, and try to meet females organically.
You could borrow a dog from a friend or family member, as striking up a conversation when walking a furry friend can be a breeze.
Join some classes or clubs where you can potentially unearth a potential future partner, because a common interest can be the glue that keeps you together.
However, as you are lacking confidence you need to up the ante through body language and ensure that you give off positive vibes. Ladies are astute and tend to reject men who appear to lack confidence or self-esteem.
DUTCH COURAGE AT BARS
The quick-fix choice of finding singletons is by checking out bars, but only those bars where the attractiveness level and age group is not out of your league.
Polish up your opening gambits before visiting any bars. Always show ladies the utmost respect, start off with a smile and some eye contact before trying to initiate a conversation.
Gyms tend to be jam-packed with recently single participants, and usually there are a plethora of classes to fine-tune your mind, physique and flirting skills.
With these potential routes available, your journey towards romance depends on the type of person you wish to attract and where they hang out before you dip your toe into the dating world.
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