Better Than George Clooney For Me?
Why not send former Kingston-resident Love Doctor Monti, the author of Journey To Find The Perfect Partner Forever, your relationship queries? Use our form to submit your question or send an email.
Question:
I’m in my early 40s and I’m keen on a guy who is in his mid-50s. We’ve been flirting for weeks, but I’m fearful as I’ve never dated someone older.
I’ve been single for three years, and I only get unwanted attention from bodybuilder guys. This man could sweep me off my feet and be better than George Clooney for me personally. Do I take a leap of faith?
B, Manchester
Love Doctor’s Answer:
Age should not be a barrier when it comes to romantic relationships, although generally speaking the ideal age gap is a maximum of 13 years because of references to popular culture.
If there’s a genuine connection then there’s the potential for you to step out of the flirting friends zone and start dating. Just because you’ve not experienced a meaningful romance with an older man does not mean it won’t work.
Although you refer to George Clooney, I’m assuming you simply refer to his age as well as mean that he’s attractive looking, charming and witty.
Look at this way, you’ve been single for a few years and your approach to finding true love, or even discovering the perfect partner, has not worked so far.
THINK DIFFERENTLY
My advice is that it’s time to think outside of the box. For starters, you mention that you are frequently grabbing the attention of bodybuilder types.
It sounds like you are possibly spending too much time at the gym among these men, or visiting the wrong sort of places for you to meet a potential suitor. It’s time to change your routine and maybe hobbies.
The fact that you refer to this man as “better than George Clooney” means that you find him devilish attractive. You also state that he could capture your heart.
GET FEEDBACK
It appears that you only need a little nudge to fall into his arms, and start seriously dating. Before you opt to organise a date, I urge you to ask your closest couple of friends what they think about you and this man as a potential couple.
Don’t take their comments as gospel, because there’s a plethora of reasons why they would give you a green light or not.
For example, they might say “I just want you to be happy”, which means they’ve paid no real thought to your question. They could give you the thumbs down because they would be jealous of your romance, or wouldn’t wish to lose you from their social circle.
ASK FAMILY
If you can’t get proper answers from these friends, then ask a couple of family members for their opinion before you throw yourself at this man.
As you are both flirting, there’s a high chance that he’s keen to embark on a romance too. If he’s a catch, then you don’t want to hang around too much because he may well be snapped up by someone else.
Your best bet is to up the flirting skills beyond body language, and explain to him that you possess romantic feelings.
FEELGOOD FACTOR
It sounds as though the feelgood factor between the pair of you is already there. The next step is either date or not.
If it’s a no-go then of course suggest that you stay friends, but obviously you need to gradually see less of him socially because you will only get hurt emotionally if you see him date another lady. Should he start dating someone other than you, understandably his girlfriend would not be pleased to have you hanging around with her man.
The worst case scenario is that he succumbs to your charms, but only regards you as his sexual partner. A relationship built on lust is never going to last nor be fulfilling, because our minds require simulation to grow as a loving couple.
MUTUAL INTERESTS
Landing a date is the positive outcome from revealing your feelings to this man. You should arrange to go out together to explore your mutual interests after you’ve been through the prelude of dinner dates and visiting a bar.
To up the ante you must arrange a date where there’s a physical activity to reinforce your social attachment. Not only can you subtly brush each other’s arms, but these activities will release endorphins that will enhance pleasure.
I would prompt you towards arranging a date where you go dancing, engage in tenpin bowling or another sport like swimming.
SHOW SUPPORT
When couples feel good around each other, they are building the foundations for a long-term relationship. Showing support emotionally, physically and spiritually is of paramount importance.
You need to build mutual respect and trust as well as maintain strong communication if you want to make this a long-lasting romantic relationship.
Finding someone to love is more than just feelings, except when it’s love at first sight and that is extremely rare. True love is about the precious time that you are together, and the way that you bounce off each other to maintain confidence and optimism in each other as partners.
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