Granny Writing to Har Fren in Foreign

Dear Mildred,

Greetings in JESUS Holy name.

Mi seh day juss light and before mi even drink lickle tea mi have tuh give yuh di suss dem, cause mi know yuh not getting no yard news which part yuh deh.

Gal mi seh a pur tings a gwan dung yah eno, di man dem juss a walk all bout and a shot up di people dem, di CHIK V a meck people faat, and mi still a wonda how chicken get involved inna mosquito business, but I guess dat is not my business.

All now di nappy head man weh name Fenton, weh claim seh him is Minister of Health nuh ketch it yet, so him still confused as tuh how to deal wid it.

Portia she is a next one. Mi nuh know is what kinda wata she drinking eno, oda day she and har big fren dem hire big jet fi send man guh back a Trinidad, claim seh him a TERRORIST, and mi nuh know if him coulda terrorize the people dem any worst dan how di gun boy dem dung yah a gwan. NINE smaddy dem murder inna one day eno.

Den Chile would yuh believe seh CHICKEN BACK a BIG STAPLE dung yah now? yes mi love, much tuh di fact dat dem have tuh IMPORT IT, I guess saka how di chicken people dem dung yah cannot afford CHICKEN FOOD fi feed di chicken dem, I suppose di back of di LOCAL CHICKENS is too MAGA, and most a dem a suffa fram malnutrition anyway, suh is not a good look fi eat di local one.

I did tell mi daughta wen she seh she was filing fi mi and har daddy dat I not coming to foreign eno, but since mi a nyam everyting weh come fram up deh, might as well mi meck up mi mind and come up deh and dun.

Chile oda night dem did have a session dung a Miss. Clemmy yard, well tuh be honest wid yuh it was suppose fi be a NINE NIGHT SET UP, saka how har daughter dead from di CHIK V, but dese days dem not doing nuh singing a set up again. So so dutty music dem playing, wid speaker box pack up allova.

Missis mi seh I see some sinting yuh see, all now mi head part a hurt mi saka how mi tramatise.

Mi seh mah mi see some gal pickney gwan wid some tings, den wen dem guh fi open up, mi seh a good ting Grandpa neva guh wid mi mah, cause at fi him age him nuh suppose fi see dem deh kinda tings.

Mi see all Berta lass gal jump pon top a Clemmy house top and teck off like she have wing, den one man ketch har and spin har, neva in all a fi mi born days mi ever see dem deh kinda tings mah.

Den Fi Rosy lass boy and Bertie son gwan wid one piece a ting yuh see, Miss Clemmy good good dutch pot cova di boy dem use suh lick one a neda innna dem head, suh one spin, BOOM is a lick dat. mi nuh know a wha kinda demon inna dem mah, but dem deh tings nuh normal.
Yuh fi see weh some a di gal dem wear tuh di funeral, but dat is a next story.

Mi a pray hard seh neda mi nor Grandpa get sick eno, cause di condition a dem yah hospital wuss dan which part dem slaughter meat, and mi prefer fi tan a mi yard and dead before mi guh inna none a dem.

Chile inna all a my seventy odd years I neva know seh dis lickle place would come to this, it pain mi heart wen mi memba how good tings used to be, but when GOVT inna bed wid HI HEMM HEFF all kinda madness gwan mah,and di peolpe dem have to pay di penalty.

Anyways mi nah tan long wid yuh as mi need fi guh drink lickle tea fi belch off di night wata offa mi stomach, drop me a line meck mi know what a gwan , and chances are mi night soon see yuh tuh as mi nuh able fi tan yah and dead fi hungry saka PATRIOTISM, cause dat nuh full belly.

Teck care
Yuh yard fren Granny

Download The Jamaican Blogs™ App for your Android device: HERE

Remember to share this article on Facebook and other Social Media Platforms. To submit your own articles or to advertise with us please send us an EMAIL at: [email protected]