Before I go to sleep I usually like a good dose of inspiring talk from a talk show on the radio. It’s my anesthesia and calms me down especially if I have had a busy day.  
Usually, I listen to the sports talk shows but this time it was a soothing voice of a young lady called #CaleenDiedrick and her show #Life&LoveUnleashed. Her topic- Oral Sex in the Jamaican society.
 

Cropped image via FlickrCommons

I knew this was going to be exciting.  Sex is a topic that sets up the grenade in any discussion and oral sex is the detonator to light the fuse. 

 
Her voice was captivating, almost angelic. I started to create my own profile of the face behind that sultry voice. Yes, this was going to be good. She had her opening statement, gave a few instances of sexual anecdotes and then proceeded to accept her callers. It was at that point my night became a changing emotion of comedy and tragedy listening to the voices of the ignorant, the joker, the religious, the conservative and those having not a clue.
 
Oral sex in Jamaica, and not surprisingly so internationally, is a topic culturally diverse as there are people in the world. Like most things within a modern society,  oral sex has evolved over the centuries.  It can be argued that society’s thinking on oral sex is shaped by cultural norms and traditions that are themselves shaped by religious norms and traditions. 
 
Indeed in every society,  the norms as it relates to sex is different, some governed by strict rules.  India, for example, regarded as one of the birthplaces of the sexual revolution has its norms.  As a youngster, I grew up reveling in the famous literary work of Karma Sutra outlining the different positions of sexual intercourse. The sexual thought that arose from reading that work had some effect on people in Jamaica, I being one of them. 
 
But to say India alone is responsible for this sexual revolution is not correct. Western sexual proclivities have evolved and exported in the form of porn ably carried in the stream of social media.  When watching porn for me was an activity reserved only for adults growing up in a puritanical society, I cannot say the same today. Porn is everywhere and on every device.  It is a new religion and the younger generation are dutifully converted.
 
It, therefore, stands to reason that if sex is so widespread and available to everyone, can it be deduced the society is more adventurous in their sexual encounters despite very vocal shouts from mouths to the contrary? We have no scientific way of knowing as our democracy is technically still not one that dictates what happens in the bedroom. 
 
But knowing human nature as we all do, we can say it is. Yes, there are people in this country that are experimenting with oral sex, hands down. And there are some that are not. There are people that enjoy exploring the different sexual avenues with their partners and there are others that stick to the traditional role play of slam bam thank you, ma’am! Yes, Jamaica we are no different from anywhere else in the world.
 
Caleen was trying her best and did so successfully to express a similar thought in her discussion careful not to subject anyone to her arguments but specifically asking those who think otherwise of oral sex to explain WHY they were against this revolution.  This was the tragedy of the night. All of the naysayers could not express WHY they were against oral sex, except for one lady that said her vagina was made to pee and it is dirty down there and she told her children not to engage in oral sex as it is dirty. Nope, that was not me paraphrasing. Those were her actual words.
 
The surprise to me of the night was a fairly young gentleman, around 38 who said he had 3 kids with his wife, married for 15 years and they do not engage in oral sex because…. because, well because….and he could not find a ‘because’. Don’t be surprised, most men and women are at the same moment in sexual time. They don’t do it and they cannot express why they don’t indulge. 
 
In this day and age of information, one would ask how come?  Surely one should be able to express themselves. Was it for religious, health, social or other reasons?  The one lady that was on the program did so crudely but those gentlemen against it all had problems expressing themselves. Some men are just mentally marginalized still grasping with their answers of their role as a man in a society that is trending towards matriarchal dominance.  
 
Let us be honest and accept that women are becoming the more dominant partner in most sexual roles taking the sexual revolution to another realm of pleasure. Women are increasingly heeding the need to be pleasured and now insist on it. Some men on the other hand also feel empowered and are now expressing their desire to the pleasures of oral sex on THEM!  
 
The act of sex is far more than a slam bam, thank you, ma’am. Caleen expressed that. Many of her callers agreed with her, some of the ‘freaks’, and I use that word liberally, went far more to the left expressing the want for golden showers and anal wash. Oh yes, the revolution has blown out of your wildest imaginations. 
 
Jamaican entertainer #Ishawana created a social eclipse when she dared to sing about this sexual explosion. Within that circle of cultural diversity, many of the male voices shouted No Way, dem not ‘bowing’! 
 
Beware of those that shout the loudest. My inclination is if all persons who went down there were to suddenly become green, Jamaica would be a rainforest. 
The fact is no one really cares who is bending down, kneeling at the altar, have a bikini burger, have a box lunch, have an egg McMuff or a fur burger!  We are all human beings doing the same thing differently. Some are more exploratory than others, some cautious and some, well are just mentally and socially different. We are a product of the village where we grew up!
 
The lesson is if you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it! As generations come we are more educated on human norms and we get better at the things previous generations took for granted. Who knows pretty soon physical sex will become taboo and virtual sex will be the new rage of society. In fact, it has already started. Soon women will no longer need the use of men for sexual pleasures and they will experience phenomenal orgasms void of husband, boyfriend or pastor!
 
Men and women beware. 
 
Hugh Hefner, RIP, once said the major civilizing force in the world is not religion. It is Sex!  Do you agree? I certainly do.  But we should accept sex for what it is. 
 
When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises. Be quiet. Make a damn mess!
 
Bite. Scratch. Push. Pull. Hold. Trust.  Love the moment. Remove pressures. Embrace. Enjoy your body and your partner’s body.
 
Produce sweat. Be natural. Give into pleasure. Bump heads. Miss when you kiss. Speak words. Speak with your body. Touch your skins. Kiss your goosebumps. Play with their hair. Scream. Beg. Whimper.. Sigh. Let your toes curl.  Keep the lights on so that you can look into their eyes when they explode.
 
Save expectations. Mess up your hair. Rid your masculinity and lose your ego. Detonate together. Collapse together and melt into each other’s arms.
 
Now, That’s SEX!
C. 2017. Kwesi. All Rights Reserved.

Written by Paul Tomlinson (c) – Check out his website HERE

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Before I go to sleep I usually like a good dose of inspiring talk from a talk show on the radio. It's my anesthesia and calms me down especially if I have had a busy day.  Usually, I listen to the sports talk shows but this time it was...

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